So here we are on Part III of our theme for the month of February.  How has your journey been so far?  Have you been able to change your me, me, me attitude to "It's Not About Me"?  It isn't easy, but hang in there.  You can do it!  Maybe the following comments will encourage all of us to continue on this journey. 

So here's a question that's been going through my mind as I was thinking about our topic:  "What are some ways that we communicate how we feel about others?"  Think about your communication with other people - especially your family.  If they respond with a smile, hug, or positive words, what are they communicating to you?  Something good, right?  If they respond with a frown, folded arms, or negative words, aren't they communicating something totally different?  All of the things mentioned above are ways to communicate how we feel - facial expressions, body language, and verbal expressions (words combined with tone of voice).  These are just a few of the ways we communicate our feelings and they are probably the ones we use most often because we carry them with us wherever we go.  You can't always carry a present with you and you don't always have a poem or song to pull out of your back pocket, but your face, body, and tongue go with you everywhere.       

Now let's think about our own actions.  Do we communicate to others that they are more important to us than ourselves or that we think more highly of ourselves?  I cannot answer that question for you, but there are some ways that we can tell what we are communicating.
 
The best way, of course, is to go to the Bible.  We need to compare our actions to the example Jesus left us.  He obviously put others above Himself and was a servant.  There are many other examples (verses) in the Bible that teach us how to treat others.  Here are just a few: 

"In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which, when translated, is Dorcas), who was always doing good and helping the poor."  Acts 9:36 - NIV
 
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."  Colossians 3:12-14 - NIV 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.  And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."  2 Corinthians 1:3-7 - NIV 

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.  All the believers were together and had everything in common.  Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,  praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people."  Acts 2:42-47 - NIV

Another way we can understand what we are communicating is to watch other people.  What are their actions communicating - love,  compassion, gentleness, joy or anger, bitterness, resentment and jealousy?  Then we can take a look at ourselves.  Are we acting like the loving, compassionate person or the angry, resentful one?   

The last thing I would suggest is to ask someone else what our actions typically communicate.  We need to choose wisely though.  We want someone who will be totally honest, but who will also keep in mind that oftentimes the truth hurts.  We need to ask someone who will respect our feelings as well as our desire to change.       
 
So what do others see in us?  Take a minute and put yourself in your spouse's shoes.  What does he/she see when he/she looks at you?  Are you kind, gentle, and loving?  Or are you always unhappy, negative, and harsh?  Wives, when your husband comes home from work and supper has not been cooked or the house is a total mess, what do you think he feels?  He feels like he is just not worth the effort to you.  Is that what you want to convey to him? 

Husbands, when your wife has had a hard week or day and you greet her with harshness or a non-caring attitude, what do you think she feels?  She feels like you don't really care about her and that she is not worth the effort of being greeted with a hug and kind words.  Is that what you want her to feel?  Is your spouse really worth it to you?  Then show it! 

What about your children?  When they ask you to help them with homework, a personal problem, or a project, do you put them off until you forget that they even asked?  What is that telling them?  Do you ever set aside your work or other projects just to listen to them and show an interest in what they have to say?  Then you are showing love and they will feel it.  Are they worth your time and effort?  Then communicate it! 

What about the rest of your family - whether it be your physical or spiritual family?  If you take the time to put yourself in their shoes, then you can be more understanding and caring.  Do you want them to think you don't care about them?  Then all you have to do is ignore them, be too busy for them, or simply put your own interests above theirs.  On the other hand, if you want to communicate love, kindness, or a caring spirit, then spend some time with them, seek their advice, or give them something that shows you really thought about what they would like.  Give of yourself. 

Remember, Christ put our needs first and we are to live like His example.  As the verse below says, do we "consider others better than" ourselves?  If not, then our selfish me, me, me attitude is showing again!  Let's get rid of that old attitude and change it to "It's NOT about me."  When we do, our communication skills will improve 100%! 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:" (Philippians 2:3-5 - NIV)

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